The Raccoons Fanfic Summaries

Raccoons Fanfic Summaries
If the show'd gotten another season or two. I prefer to have these done in screenplay form and targeted at all ages (TV-Y in USA, C in Canada). Of course, seeing this show was made entirely in Canada, we could rarely use the word "suck" since it was used on Canadian kids' cartoon shows. (e.g. Stickin' Around) No need to include the lyrics of the songs except the character singing.
* Opening narration only
** No narration

Gotta Dance!
The story begins with Ralph, Melissa, Nicole, George and Lisa Raccoon watching a ballet on a Wednesday night. (George, Nicole and Lisa already put Bert in charge of babysitting Bentley.) Melissa and Nicole have always dreamed of being famous dancers. As soon as they arrive home to see Bert and Bentley all plumb-tuckered out and asleep from watching an all-day "Three Guys with a Cause" marathon on KNOX-TV. Still, Bentley's bedtime was 9 p.m. because he had school in the morning. Soon, an ad for a contest appears. Melissa and Nicole had already entered with a poem they'd written together. The next day, they have been announced as the winners. Their prize is tickets to a taping of "Disco Turntable" (a parody of "Soul Train") at Evergreen Studios (the very same place where "Question of Your Life" from show 34 is taped). The show is hosted by Dan Cornwallis. Each ticket holder is allowed only one guest each, so Nicole will bring George and Melissa Ralph. But George has one problem: He can't dance. Meanwhile, Cyril Sneer and Mr. Knox are having trouble getting their bears and manxes (the latter from show 45) to cooperate if they want to audition to be backup dancers for a talent show held at the Forest Bowl. Will George, Cyril and Mr. Knox make it big?
"Run with Us" and "Growing Up" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Woodchuck Breakdown" (during the jukebox scene at the Blue Spruce Cafe)
"This Time" sung by THE DIOR BROS. (during Disco Turntable scene)
"Endless Summer" (also during Disco Turntable scene)

On Thin Ice!
Based on Erin T. Aardvark's fanfic "Thin Ice!" There's an ice-skating competition held at the Evergreen Ice Rink! Commentary by Dick Ermine and Melissa Raccoon. Sophia Tutu and Lisa Raccoon are looking forward to competing this year; that is, until a rival named Danielle Nightingale (named after a Swiss withdrawn skater Danielle Rieder and Canadian skater Lynn Nightingale) from Sophia's high school shows up while practicing on Evergreen Lake. After being shown up by being called a "couple of tippy-toed ringtailed hose-nosed guppies", Sophia and Lisa decide to get a little coaching from a professional ice dancer whom the pigs are huge fans of: Dory Hamm, who is judging this year. Meanwhile, while Mr. Knox and Mayor Baden-Baden are also practicing for the competition (because he doesn't have the time to work with Cyril), Cyril and Cedric Sneer are looking to make a deal with Mr. Mammoth by inventing a new line of snowshoes. The day the competition begins and when Sophia and Lisa are called up for their duet, their song doesn't play, so the two girls try hard to stay still until Sophia collapses and breaks her leg. Lisa is sure to be disqualified until Bert Raccoon makes a last-minute replacement.
"Run with Us" and "Teach Me" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"When the Sun Comes Up" sung by LISA LOUGHEED and CURTIS KING JR. (during Bert & Lisa's scene at the competition)

The Incredible Shrinking Raccoons!
This will be based on lkcrm94's fanfic "Cut Down to Size!", only we'll remove the humans and add Lisa and Bentley. Also, Broo is instead with the gang and Schaeffer puts Lady Baden-Baden in charge of his cafe. The gang's campout is to be on Freen's Peak. Also, thanks to their self-defense skills, Bentley and Broo quickly escape the malfunction for they are the only ones unaffected by the shrinkage.
"Run with Us" and "Come on Home" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

Superstition!
While Bert, Ralph, Melissa, Cedric, Broo and Lisa go spelunking in the Endless Echo Caverns (Lisa needs to find rare igneous stones lodged somewhere in the forest for research on her science class at Evergreen High, and a column for the Evergreen Standard), Bert encounters a strange-looking shining stone. They present the rare stone to Professor Smedley-Smythe and Nicole at the museum and use a tiny chunk sample for analysis. Quite suddenly, Bert, all unbeknownst while holding the gem, becomes diagnosed with bad luck. Meanwhile, Cyril receives a chain letter that if he doesn't pass it onto his fellow tycoons, he will be diagnosed with bad luck, which he does anyway. They both run into all sorts of karma. (e.g. Walking under a ladder, smashing a mirror, breaking guitar strings during band practice.) Soon, after thorough analyzation, the professor reveals it as Karmus Kimberlitis, a stone that gives the holder an entire week of bad luck. Will Bert and Cyril survive a horrendous karma?
"Run with Us" and "Stop the Clock" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

New Record!**
Ralph's Aunt Gertie drops by for another visit, and everyone in the Evergreen Forest wants a chance to set a new record, so they can win a column publication on this year's Giddiness Book of World Records and to meet Sir Earnest Beaver, the man who founded the book series.
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Here I Go Again" sung by LISA LOUGHEED and CURTIS KING JR.

Young at Heart!*
Cyril Sneer has broken his back from slipping on an ice cube at the Blue Spruce Cafe, so Cedric, being the co-president, takes over the entire empire until he gets better. While thinking up of a way to cure his father without having to see the chiropractor, he remembers the time the pigs tried to find Cyril a fountain of youth potion, which turned out it was Bert's peanut butter soda he and Bentley invented. (And from the first time they met, even) So, he and Pig Three decide to create one themselves (even if it does include peanut butter) and test it on his father by giving him a teaspoon. But just before he does, Bert, Ralph and Melissa stop by to ask Cedric out on a picnic by Evergreen River. Then, Bert points out that Cedric made the gang peanut butter soda. But before Cedric can say anything, the trio drinks it up only more than a teaspoon. Then POOF! At an instant, Bert, Ralph and Melissa have been turned into kids (same as they looked in show 43, which their clothes are affected too), just around Bentley's age. Cedric tried to tell them: His new rejuvenating potion turned them into kids and the potion will wear off for the next 24 hours. Now, Cedric will have to create a new one. But while he does, the gang rushes off to Bentley's house and explain the dilemma to him. Now, Bentley is convinced and decides to join them on their picnic and have fun together with all the time they got. Then, on a portaging trip through the caverns, the three young raccoons end up lost  In the end, the potion does wear off in 24 hours and the gang instantly reverts back to their old selves.
STUART STONE as Young Ralph, DANIEL DeSANTOS as Young Bert
"Run with Us" and "Stop the Clock" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

Funny Business!*
Bert, Ralph and Cedric want to perform their own comedy routine at the Blue Spruce Cafe's open mic night, but can't figure out which of the three is funnier. This causes them to start arguing with each other until Smitty Dean, their idol and funniest slapstick comedian, arrives in the Evergreen Forest and teaches them "The Many Categories of Comedy". However, the three friends' squabbling takes it too far until their friends laugh at them and enjoy it. Smitty Dean decides to have them as the opening act, but Bert, Ralph and Cedric decline to the offer and think that what they went through with Smitty was all comedy enough.
KEVIN MCDONALD as Smitty Dean
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Got Me Singing" sung by RORY DODD

And Action!**
Bentley chooses to participate in the statewide elementary school film festival, held at the Golden Moose Matinee, to represent Evergreen Elementary, and he and the Raccoon Gang are planning to immortalize the story of "Saskatchewan Smith and the Prism of Zenda" like Cyril Sneer was originally going to make, but turned it down. Also, Lady Baden-Baden (Knox's wife and the forest mayor) is hosting and Cedric, Mr. Barnes, Virginia Creeper and Rip Tide are judging this year. Bert gets the starring role as the title character Saskatchewan Smith, Lisa as Saskatchewan's lover Mayo Timberblack, Cedric as Marky Browser, Terrance and Scotty are the natives who catch them on their way, and Bentley is the producer and director. But take after take, Bentley keeps pushing the gang (including his own sister, uncle and aunt) too far to get things right. Meanwhile, in another crazy attempt to make easy money, Cyril Sneer's henchpigs decide to make a "really, really bad" home video for "Uncle Saggy's Really, Really Bad Home Videos" in order to end their secret Rack Pinion's yo-yo polish subscription nightmare. Will Bentley be the laughingstock of his eight-year-old grade seven career? Will the Pigs ever get easy money?
"Run with Us" and "Restless in the Night" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

Hugs and Kisses!
Bentley has grown very fond of his schoolteacher Mrs. Hedges ever since he started attending after moving to the forest, and he always does everything she says, and very nicely, too. With Valentine's Day coming up, he decides to give her the biggest Valentine there is. Meanwhile, there's a big dance held at Evergreen High, and Lisa's crush from her old school, Curtis Ringtail II (named after and voiced by Curtis King Jr. the singer) arrives in the forest, which makes Bert feel a little jealous. That is, until Bert encounters another female raccoon (the same one in red from show 58). Also, Cyril Sneer receives a Valentine from his secret admirer.
CURTIS KING JR. as Curtis Ringtail II
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"All Life Long" sung by LISA LOUGHEED and CURTIS KING JR.
(During the dance, instrumental versions of "Stop the Clock", "Never Even Know What Time It Is" and "New World" can be heard)

Game Over!*
A new video game craze is sweeping the Evergreen Forest by storm! Bert orders the new VR Ventures game, equipped with four helmets, with the money he'd saved up from his Standard deliveries. "Designed to welcome you to our world." Impressed by the new product, Cedric, Bentley and Lisa accept his offer to play with him. Then suddenly, they get sucked into the TV and into the gameworld. What they don't know is that the game is licensed by MacroSteel, a new video game company run by the conniving, scheming weasel of a weasel Robin Steel! (from show 60). So, while Cyril Sneer plots Mr. Steel's digital demise, the rest of the Raccoon Gang race to the rescue. If they don't complete the final level of the game, and the hardest one at that, will they be trapped forever?
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

The Legend of Sir Bert!**
While browsing through the library of Sneer Mansion, Bert stumbles upon a book about knights in shining armor, which happens to be about Sir Percival Sneer, Knight of the Oblong Table. Of course, Cedric promised the pigs he'd read it to them as their bedtime story. While skimming through the book, Bert becomes wiped out and falls asleep and fantasizes the Evergreen Forest in medieval times as Ye Olde Forest o' Evergreen and about being a knight in shining armour named Sir Bert Raccoon and his Squire Cedric Sneer!
"Run with Us" and "Hold Back Tomorrow" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Minstrel Songs" sung by BOB DERMER as RALPH RACCOON
"The Report" sung by LEN CARLSON (as BERT RACCOON, PIG TWO AND THREE), MARVIN GOLDHAR (as CEDRIC SNEER), BOB DERMER (as RALPH RACCOON), SUSAN ROMAN (as MELISSA RACCOON), SHARON LEWIS (as SOPHIA TUTU), TRACEY MOORE (as BENTLEY RACCOON), MICHAEL MAGEE (as CYRIL SNEER), KEITH HAMPSHIRE (as PIG ONE), LIZ HANNA (as NICOLE RACCOON), DAN HENNESSEY (as GEORGE RACCOON), CARL BANAS (as SCHAEFFER and MR. WILLOW) and LISA LOUGHEED (as LISA RACCOON) (sung in a similar vein to "Let the Anvils Ring")

Bah, Humbuck!
"'Twas the Evergreen Forest and all through the trees, some creatures were stirring with the greatest of ease." Not getting into the Christmas spirit the good way, Cyril Sneer treats his employees (even the citizens of the Evergreen Forest) like garbage. Even the pigs, who hear their mother is visiting with them for the holidays, are also treated like garbage. So, he decides to tax Christmas this year. But his son and business partner Cedric warns him that mass chaos could happen if taxing the most wonderful holiday of the year. "BAH HUMBUCK!" Cyril bellows. Elsewhere in the forest, Cedric is looking for the perfect gift for his girl Sophia, while Bentley has come down with a bad case of pneumonia, and Ralph's Uncle Rocky and Aunt Gertie visit the Raccoondominium to celebrate the holidays with Bert, Ralph, Melissa and their puppy Broo, who are planning a huge holiday hullabaloo and invite all their friends. Even Bonneville Knox visits his uncle and aunt for the holidays. Later, just as Cyril is about to hit the hay, he and Snag receive a visit from the spirit of his old business partner Karl Snarl. (However, Snarl is not dead.) Anyway, Karl tells Cyril that he will be visited by three spirits or he will be doomed to a life of poverty. No matter where he locks himself up in his mansion, the spirits are difficult to stop. The first spirit is the Ghost of Christmas Past (played by Lady Baden-Baden). One of the past Christmases Cyril lands in is the time he chopped down the Raccoondominium. (stock footage from "The Christmas Raccoons") At that time, Bert moved in with Ralph and Melissa just a month or so before and quite some time after they'd married. Another one is about Cyril and his brother Simon, before he left to join the navy. The second spirit is the Ghost of Christmas Present (played by Schaeffer), where bad things are happening all at once. Even Cyril feels horrible about his own son and employees, especially the poor sick Bentley. Finally, the Ghost of Christmas Future (played by Mr. Mammoth) and his sidekick (played by Mr. Mammoth's sidekick). Cyril becomes devastated to see not only Bentley's grave, but his own grave, too. He pleads that he will change and finally the nightmare ends. The minute he wakes up, he wonders what day it is now that it's morning. Cyril asks his son what day it is and the answer is Christmas. Which means now, it's not too late for Cyril to change his ways and make this the best Christmas the whole Evergreen Forest has had. Bentley starts to feel better, everyone is enjoying the big Christmas bash, etc.
"Run with Us" and "Lake Freeze" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

Out of This World!
The story begins at the Evergreen Museum where Bert, Melissa, Nicole and Professor Smedley-Smythe are stargazing when suddenly an eerie greenish glowing figure lands by the hedge maze of Sneer Mansion, where Cyril Sneer, Cedric and the Pigs are also stargazing. As they gaze upon the greenish glow, they find a UFO that crash-landed and out pops an alien named Al Ian from the planet Clarion. Ralph, though being the straight man, publishes this experience on the latest issue of the Standard. What does the alien want from us? After hearing this news, what does the no-good Robin Steel have to do about the alien that will make him more richer than all the tycoons of the forest?
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Calling You" sung by FRANK FLOYD

Liar Liar!
While playing ball with Bert and Cedric, Bentley accidentally smashes the window of the Raccoondominium and Ralph and Melissa's glass figurine of themselves on their wedding day. The figurine is very, very meaningful to them in their lives because it's their wedding anniversary. When Bert's housemates arrive home to see their figurine busted, they become heartbroken. (It also causes Ralph to sob.) So, Bentley starts making a lie to get him out of trouble. Meanwhile, Cyril Sneer gets a letter from his evicted kid sister who is coming to visit. (It's also the first letter he receives from her since the eviction.) This causes Cyril to worry that his sister doesn't even know that Cyril is president of Sneer Enterprises, because the last thing she said to him was that she hoped Cyril would never do anything like that. The Pigs give him an idea: Lie to her.
"Run with Us" and "Can't Trust Myself" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

Trick or Treat!
It's Halloween in the Evergreen Forest! Kathy Raton (from show 42 and the same colour scheme from show 53), one of Bentley's classmates, is throwing a big party! While the Raccoon Gang goes trick-or-treating, Cyril Sneer and Mr. Knox run into a couple of strangers in the haunted house (from show 3), which is the perfect location for a photograph on their Halloween-themed Environmental Crusaders products. Afterwards, the strangers tell them of another haunt which is MUCH creepier than that. It turns out that it's the old warehouse down near Beaver Bite Swamp, another crafty scheme conjured up by...you guessed it! Milton Midas and Sid Leech, who've escaped from prison.
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Don't Fear the Fire" sung by STEPHEN LUNT
"Restless in the Night" (instrumental, during Halloween party)

Scout's Honour!
The Junior Raccoon Scouts, including Bentley, Kathy, Danny Schibli (from show 49), Terrance Stubbs (from show 55) and Scotty Monroe (from show 55) are going sailing on the Red Rock River! Bert, who was a Junior Raccoon Scout himself, is subbing in for Scoutmaster Ivan Nettles, who's gotten the chickenpox. The scouts will do whatever it takes to build their raft, keep it stable and steady, and earn their merit badge. Meanwhile, Cedric is working on a surprise deal for Cyril to make with the Environmental Crusaders, and the Pigs promise not to tell Cyril about it.
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"New World" sung by CURTIS KING JR.

Offsides!*
While the Raccoon Gang helps Schaeffer spruce up his attic, (Yes, Schaeffer lives by himself now after they wrote out the humans, but this is a different house, but similar looking to Ranger Dan's) Bert discovers a picture of Schaeffer and an old friend of his: Carlo "El Perro" Valerosa. Schaeffer informs the gang that Carlo grew up to be the best soccer player in the Segunda Division on a team, the Real Valladolid. He was also the same guy who Schaeffer hurt during an argument (after he'd earnt his black belt). Then, suddenly, who should show up in the Evergreen Forest unexpectedly but Carlo Valerosa! The two old friends reunite overjoyously. Carlo has returned to the Evergreen Forest after his retirement to coach soccer at Lisa's school Evergreen High. Meanwhile, the gang challenges the cunning, traitorous Robin Steel to a game of soccer in order to win the fortunes back to Cyril Sneer and Mr. Knox, who have ways of putting Steel's cronies (including his son Rod Steel) into their tracks.
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Sooner or Later" sung by THE DIOR BROS.

Piece o' Cake!**
There's a bake-off in the Evergreen Forest, and everyone is looking forward to creating an original recipe. Mr. Knox, Lady Baden-Baden and Ralph's brother George Raccoon are judging. Whoever wins will make a guest appearance on George's show "Chef Surprise". However, things turn out a lot, lot worse as Ralph can't come up with anything really, REALLY special, so he turns to his brother and friends (including Herman Stroll the hermit) for advice. Meanwhile, Cyril Sneer and the pigs are going hunting for a vital ingredient to use for his recipe to bring to a reunion of his old club: The Young Tycoons.
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Missing It" sung by CURTIS KING JR.

Hang Ten!
Cyril and Cedric are looking to make a deal with Waki Kiki, the Hawaiian businessman, to sell Sneer Sunblock to his homeland. Meanwhile, there's a surfing contest on the biggest part of Evergreen Lake, and Bert and the gang prepare to take on the BIG KAPUSTA!
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"When the Sun Comes Up" sung by LISA LOUGHEED and CURTIS KING JR.
"Endless Summer" (during a scene)

Seeing Double!**
After another busy day at the Evergreen Standard, Bert swings by Willow's Store to buy a present for Bentley's eighth birthday. (Bentley is always the same age like all the other characters) As Bert races home with Bentley's gift, he stops to find a limousine going his way. There, he meets someone who looks exactly like him, only he's a prince from a royal family in another country. The prince is tired of doing the same routine every day, so Bert and his lookalike switch clothes. With the prince in Bert's place, everyone is shocked that some change has come over Bert. And vice versa. Meanwhile, Cyril Sneer's pigs decide to clone themselves, so they could go visit their mother for the day and let the clones do the work for Cyril. After the real pigs return home, they decide to let their clones do all the work while they get free time. However, things go awry when the clones want free time, too. Will Bert and the Prince learn what each other's lives are like? Will the Pigs ever get rid of their clones?
LEN CARLSON as the Prince (Carlson's Mr. Frumble voice from Richard Scarry)
"Run with Us" and "Never Even Know What Time It Is" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

Staying Within the Lines!
Cyril Sneer's pigs are looking forward to seeing all the sights and sounds of Mudman's hometown and a sneak peek at Mudman's newest TV series! So, in another attempt to make enough money for it, they decide to publish their own comic book. Meanwhile, with a little help from Bert, Ralph and Melissa of the Evergreen Standard, the kids at Evergreen Elementary create their very own TV morning news show.
"Run with Us" and "Growing Up" sung by LISA LOUGHEED

Night After Night!
Bentley keeps having the same dream every night about a monster invading Evergreen Elementary while naming the elements in his grade 7 honours science class. He has trouble staying awake at school, at the Standard office, at his Junior Raccoon Scouts meeting, pretty much everywhere! So, his parents take him to see a psychiatrist about his narcolepsy problem and the dream he has every night. Will Bentley ever have another dream? Will he be able to pass his science test?
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Night After Night" sung by RORY DODD

Bert, Superstar!**
Jerry Jordan, Jr., a human producer for big-time record company named Moptop (parody of Motown) fires one member (Terry Ruffle) of his longtime doo-wop group: The Seductions. So, while the Seductions find Terry's replacement themselves, Jerry goes hot on the trail for an authentic voice and music for all generations (even the present generation). When they reach the Evergreen Forest, he hears not one, not two, but six singing voices, each with their own instruments. They all belong to another band: The Raccoons. (The same band from show 13). They were just practicing inside the office of the Evergreen Standard. Jerry is thrilled when he meets them and declares that his search is over for the perfect band to tour all over the world! Bert, being most excited to be a superstar, agrees to the idea, as do Ralph, Melissa, Schaeffer, Cedric and Sophia. (Although the other five have their doubts.) After hearing this news, even Cyril Sneer, the Pigs, Bentley and Lisa become excited, yet a little doubtful about the gang's newest music career. As their time in stardom begins, the Raccoons start to become more hung up on their tour than on their friends, who start growing envious and heartbroken about them. What will Cyril, Bentley and Lisa do in order to convince the Raccoons to come back home to the forest for good?
GUIDO BASSO as Jerry Jordan, Jr.
"Run with Us" sung by LISA LOUGHEED
"Walk the Walk" sung by LEN CARLSON (as BERT RACCOON), BOB DERMER (as RALPH RACCOON), SUSAN ROMAN (as MELISSA RACCOON), MARVIN GOLDHAR (as CEDRIC SNEER), CARL BANAS (as SCHAEFFER) and SHARON LEWIS (as SOPHIA TUTU)
"Missing You" sung by MICHAEL MAGEE (as CYRIL SNEER), KEITH HAMPSHIRE (as PIG ONE), LEN CARLSON (as PIG TWO and THREE), TRACEY MOORE (as BENTLEY RACCOON) and LISA LOUGHEED (as LISA RACCOON)

Haste Makes Space!
Melissa's younger twin brother Melvin Mooney drops his kindergarten aged daughter Karen off at the Raccoondominium for a weekend's visit. Everything she does, she does at a rapidfire pace, it almost ruins everything. Why? Everyone thinks she's much too impatient and overdoes everything! So, Bert and the gang do whatever they can to lessen all that, including a meditating lesson taught by Schaeffer in his martial arts class. Meanwhile, Robin Steel plans to demolish Sneer Mansion and build a giant amusement park on every last bit of land of it! Will Cyril, Cedric, Snag, the Pigs and the Bears ever get their home back and save their reputation of Sneer Industries? Will Karen ever learn to be patient?
"Run with Us" and "Hold Back Tomorrow" sung by LISA LOUGHEED